Why Are Men So Territorial?

I’ve been receiving a lot of questions that readers would like me to answer, so I’ve decided to keep their identities concealed and address the questions in this forum… Maybe others are having the same issues.

 

Question:

Why are guys territorial when it comes to you even though you aren’t together?

 

Answer:

Usually if you are in a situation where a man in your life is territorial when it comes to you and you are not together, it’s because he wants the two of you to be together.  Most, if not all, of the male friends that you have are your friends because that is the role you selected for the relationship.  When a man is romantically interested in you, things can go one of a few different ways.

• He lets you know right off of his interest and
  • you feel the same way and you begin to date; or
  • you let him know that you’re not interested and he leaves you alone; or
  • you’re not interested so he shifts gears and switches to being the friend just to have you in his life.

In the cases where you never knew of his interest and you’ve just always been friends, either

• He has realized that he’s not your type.  So he never tells you of his feelings, excepts his role as your friend and hopes that one day things will change; or
• You have a man so he excepts being your friend, bides his time and waits for that opening that will allow him to be more that just your friend.

Whichever of these situations apply to you, the point is that he probably wants more.  Emotions are difficult to control.  Even though he may not be verbally sharing his feelings with you, he’s letting you know (maybe unconsciously) that he cares for you by being territorial.

If you have a question you would like me to address, send me an email at Ms.Mtwo@yahoo.com.

Only Love, ~M2

Real Talk… How to Keep Your Man Happy (Part 3)

This entry is for grown folks… if you are sensitive about sexual issues or easily offended, please don’t read any further. 

Have Sex with Your Man

     I know this seems like a no-brainer but you would be surprised at the number of women who are not having enough or quality sex with their men.  The first step is to know your man.  If your man likes to have sex daily and you are only having sex with him monthly, you have a problem.  The problem is that no matter what your man tells you, if you’re not satisfying your him, he is only going to remain faithful to you for so long.  You need to find some type of compromise so that you aren’t sending your man out into the streets starving everyday.  Do you think beautiful women disappeared from the earth because he’s with you now?  Do you think that he is never going to be attracted to another woman because he’s with you now?  Let me tell you, in case you don’t know… they didn’t and he will.  It’s kind of like sending him outside in the dead of winter with no coat.  Girl, you have to give him something to protect him from the outside elements.  There will always be beautiful women around and he will always feel an attraction to someone else.  Your job is to make sure that he is getting enough quality sex from home that he’s not weakened by outside offers.  And just so you know… he IS sharing that information with someone.  Somebody knows that he is sexually frustrated.  What you don’t know is if that person is going to coach him through having a conversation with you so a change can be made at home, or if that person is going to take care of the problem for you. 

     Ask your man if he’s getting enough and listen to the answer.  If he’s not getting enough he has told you in the past and either you weren’t listening, you don’t think it’s that big of deal or you just don’t care.  Next, ask your man if he’s getting everything he wants the way he wants it.  Trust me when I tell you that if you are just lying there… He is not happy!  Sex is an interactive sport and it takes the participation of two people.  I know that many of us were raised to believe that good girls don’t do certain things.  I need for you to get over that right now in this moment.  Now I’m not telling you that you should do any little deviant thing your man can think of, but some basic things are required and if you don’t do them, you will lose him.  If you don’t care you need to examine why.  Either you are emotionally done with the relationship or you are not attracted to your man and being intimate with him is not on your list of things to do.  If this is your situation, you need to decide why you are still in the relationship and consider getting out of it.

     If your issue is that you had some past trauma that is affecting your ability to fully give yourself to a man, you need to seek therapy.  I am not trying to be funny or insulting, if you have a real issue you need to see a professional that can help you deal with your past so that it doesn’t continue to affect your present.  If your issue is that you just don’t have any skills, you need to start studying.  Just like any other subject that you want to master you must seek out the knowledge and absorb it.  Tell your man you want to watch some porno movies together.  While you’re watching, try some things out.  Now you can do this alone, however, when you start doing new things he will want to know why you are suddenly doing new things and want to know where you learned them.  Suspicion is not an aphrodisiac.  If he’s in on it from the beginning he will be receptive to the new things you are trying.  Something to look for while watching the movies are new positions, men like to switch it up and once you learn what you’re doing, I’m sure you’ll like it as well.  Another thing is to be vocal.  The vocals are usually a little fake in the porno movies but you’ll get the point.  Men like to be talked to and encouraged during sex… talk dirty to them.  They like to know that they are pleasing you.  Tell them what you want, how you want it and that they are doing it right.  Be careful with this one… don’t come off like a drill sergeant… 1, 2, 3, left, right, left.  Always stay in the moment, allow yourself to enjoy what’s happening and speak to him in a manner that uplifts him not in a way that tells him he’s messing up.

     Fellatio is something that most men are not willing to live without.  Fellatio is oral sex performed on the man.  If your man has told you that he doesn’t like it or that you don’t have to do it, chances are that you don’t know what you’re doing.  The only thing worse than not having it done, is having it done badly.  Books that explain how to do it can be easily found, but I recommend the videos.  Do a Google search on “How to Perform Fellatio Video” and you will see a list of choices.  A video will show you step by step what to do and how to do it.  It will tell you everything from what to do so he doesn’t feel your teeth to how not to choke. 

Real Talk:  There is no guarantee that your man won’t cheat on you.  Some men are going to cheat no matter what you do… the best thing you can do to control the situation is to make sure it’s not your fault. There are a great deal of good men out there that don’t want to cheat but if you are starving them, don’t assume they won’t.  Handle your business!

Only Love, ~M2